ya dads aren't the best wingmen
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
