Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
