it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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