shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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