I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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