dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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