and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
