what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
