So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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