I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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