when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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