And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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