No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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