i think my mom watched the whole time
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
