somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
