I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
