She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
