I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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