he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
