You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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