that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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