very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
