Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
well you can't waste a boner
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
