I can text with my tongue
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize