Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
