last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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