I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
