im six kinds of drunk right now
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
