was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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