Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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