what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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