He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
