she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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