She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
