new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
