Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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