he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
