You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
