But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
