You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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