You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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