My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
