ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
