you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
