Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
