I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
