She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
