walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
