awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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