I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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